I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
