oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
