If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
