she was so not down for the gang bang
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
