I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
