How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
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