my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
