so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
