Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
