Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
