just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I got inside last night via doggy door
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
