I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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