what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
