k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
