i just wanna soil my oats bro
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
