haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
