end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
It's blow job season.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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