She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize