i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
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