you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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