Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
