It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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