My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
