What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
