Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
