Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
