Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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