Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
