Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
