do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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