I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
