I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
i think im in europe. pls send help
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
