another moral hangover. fuck.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize