...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Randomize
