People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
