Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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