do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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