I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
