the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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