after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
my nose is crying tears of wow.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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