sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
