Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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