i just had sex bonerless
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
my being single is dangerous.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
