It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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