The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
