Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
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