She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
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