Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
