Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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