We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Holy sore nipples Batman
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Randomize
