i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
