just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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