lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
is wine microwaveable?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
