wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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