The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
4 words: hood of his car
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
