but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize