do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
