i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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