I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
