im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Randomize
