I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
