I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
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