awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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