ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
