I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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