I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
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