In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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