its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
